Single Greatest Moment of a Bad Movie: The Worst Witch ______________________________________________________________
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[My Disclaimer: I should clarify that when I say “Bad” movie, I don’t necessarily mean I didn’t like the movie, or it didn’t have value. Most of the time they are funny bad, or so bad they’re good movies. ..and other times they are just horrible, and the featured moment is their only saving grace. ]
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For the 3rd installment of “Single Greatest Moment of a Bad Movie” I have chosen The Worst Witch.
I think you must all have seen this one coming; But I won’t let that stop me.
Okay, so the Worst Witch was, seemingly, an impossibly cheaply produced, made-for-TV movie, from 1986, Starring Fairuza Balk, Diana Rigg, and Charlotte Rae (you know, Ms. Garrett in the Facts of Life), and featuring the incomparable Tim Curry.
The story has something to do with, I don’t know, a witch in a witch school, and the trials and tribulations of a bunch of boring nonsense she has to go through, taken from a book, and these stories were also further bogged down in later years with a TV Series on the Disney channel.
I assure you my light and uninteresting treatment of the movie on a whole is completely fitting and understandable; Go watch it and see for yourself. The reason being, that not only is the moment I am getting to the Single Greatest moment of the Worst Witch (which, by the way, is a legitimately bad movie), but it is in fact, the only worthwhile or memorial moment in the entire movie.
And Oh, how worthwhile it is. It may well be one of the greatest things I have ever witnessed.
So, in setting up the moment for, pretty much all you need to know is, there is some sort of gathering in witch which the ‘The Grand Wizard’ (Tim Curry, and no, not a KKK reference) is coming to address the witches of the school.
For the purposes of this review, I feel I must examine the line I just wrote again: The Grand Wizard is coming to address the witches of the school. Below you will find a link to the moment I am referring to, and I believe it would be best to watch it, and appreciate 1. the brilliant costuming which defines a ‘Grand Wizard’, 2. the manner in which the ‘Grand Wizard’ is arriving at the school, and 3. How the ‘Grand Wizard’ addresses the student witches.
This is the 2nd time Tim Curry has come out to provide the greatest moment of a bad movie, and this one is even more entertaining (and indirectly creepy) than the last. Take particular note of the, what I can only describe as, lecherously spoken line “It’s great to be here, with you young witches“, and then, once that has uncomfortably sunk in, get ready to sit back and enjoy the single greatest song and music video in all of recorded music and film history.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I now proudly present to you, the single greatest moment of this bad movie, and possibly the single greatest movie of All bad movies:
There you have it. I’m not really sure what else to say, or what else needs to be said. I will definitely do more installments of SGMBD, but it is now hard to imagine I could find one more befitting of the theme.
Until next time Internet,
~Matt Gallo
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P.S.- Internet, please call me back, I know you’re doing your hair the next three weekends, but eventually you’ll have time for me, right?
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It was this story that JK Rowling ripped off!